fear

fear walks with me
with every thought of love
with every hope
it is there.

fear latches on
to my heart
and my feelings
and my dreams
of experiencing a life with another

I see it...
I see it there in my future,
but I hold back.
I sabotage.
I withdraw.
to a place where trust does not exist
to a place where another being
usually cannot reach.

I shake myself
I stare,
and I wait,
for this small girl inside of me to let go
of all the fear
that she thinks is keeping her safe.